LETTER TO SELF

15 Feb

Dear Seanice
If there’s any one word to describe your life its going to be the word ‘unpredictable’ … your going to have a pretty fun childhood, you will love Naomi and Simon Chorley – the twins – they will be 2 of your best friends as you begin your academic life- the monkey bars and the sand pit will be your favorite place to hang out!

Enjoy your formative years because honestly, this is the point at which you will be at your most confident; this is where you wont realize that your skin is black even though you like exactly the same things as the ‘white’ kids.

Don’t cry so much when James Green pinches you and runs away- it may hurt and you wont understand this but it’s actually because he likes you!
Boys are strange aren’t they? but they are also loyal friends as you will find out, 80 percent of your closest friends will be male and that unfortunately will be the main reason you and your 1st Fiance will break up- he will tell you that many of these friends want to ‘be’ with you – you will find it ridiculous, it will be true.

When Dad stops coming around so often because he’s flying off to foreign lands – you will discover the confusing truth, that perhaps your mom is not the only woman he wants to be with and that something happened to what was once a beautiful union and that sometimes people change so much that they are no longer a reflection of you – this will change the way you see Men – but you have to learn to conquer this fear and learn to love with your whole heart- not bits of it.

You will go to Uganda for your secondary school and you will suffer culture shock – for some reason when you speak your mind others will find it intimidating and think you a rude and spoilt child. This will hurt you – a lot, you will learn how to disappear where you once loved to stand out. you will learn to pretend to be stupid so that others do not feel threatened, you will learn to hide your talent because it’s not half as important as an A in chemistry. But never forget that all this is according to THEM.

Your self esteem is going to die a lonely death in your teens. It is a cold and calculated murder by a desperately unhappy aunt that you will live with. Forgive her – she is trapped in a marriage with a good man; but they are not a match. Forgive your parents – they just wanted the best for you and they had you when they were 26 – you will be very emotionally confused at 26 – although in happier news you will enjoy an amazing career- ! I’ll tell you about that in the next letter – Your career is the brightest spot in your life! That and the love of your family

yours
Seanice at 28.

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15 Responses to “LETTER TO SELF”

  1. akenyangirl February 15, 2011 at 9:57 am #

    Awww…… this is so cute!

    • poutana1 February 15, 2011 at 10:59 am #

      Nice!

  2. akenyangirl February 15, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    BTW, also very honest letter. When I did one, I omitted a lot of ‘confidential’ stuff. And I didn’t even publish it. lol

  3. Mel February 15, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

    Dear Seanice,

    I am full of admiration not many of us are comfortable enough in ourselves to reveal our inner feelings like this, its wonderful to see how you went through all the ups and especially downs.

    When I first met you those many yrs a go, I thought you were so intelligent, funny, smart etc (We used to sit together in class S1 and S2)

    In my years I’ve learned to compliment people when its due not just to think it, and I sh’d have told you those many years ago what i thought. You made my time in boarding school fun, and memorable.

    love and hugs Mel

  4. Seanice February 15, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    @ A kenyangirl I must admit it was a little hard to write in places but i realized sometimes when we make ourselves vulnerable we actually gain strength in the process! its like when you finally look under the bed- the monster’s not as scary as you thought! publish yours-! i invite you to!

  5. Seanice February 15, 2011 at 12:45 pm #

    @ Mel – that has got to be the sweetest thing ever; thanks so much for the lovely comments and I am humbled duly
    hugs and love back in spades 🙂

    • AnitaK February 15, 2011 at 6:09 pm #

      Dear Seanice,
      One word – ditto – am super inspired and this is an addition to one of those assurances that we are allowed to be who we are and stop letting “I-am-intimidating-you-by-being-me get in our way..
      Thanks Girl – rock on!!!!

  6. PamEla February 15, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

    I so feel you on… “you will go to Uganda for your secondary school and you will suffer culture shock – for some reason when you speak your mind others will find it intimidating and think you a rude and spoilt child.” I suffered the same confusion and survivd it. For what its worth I think you are a success and I kinda look up to you

  7. Daniel Tumwine February 15, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

    Heya, Seanice.

    Good piece. I get the ‘but most of your friends are female’ line a lot. Someone broke up with me over that as well! Lady, I so get the culture shock. Had the exact same experience. They called it the “herd mentality”. Being different and self confident was frowned upon. I had to learn to be stupid as well. Oh, and I was told my academics were the be all and end all of everything, which I found annoying.
    Great piece again.

    Daniel

  8. Sleek February 15, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    Dear Seanice,
    I am a guy so culture dictates that I can’t cry or use the word ‘beautiful’ if it is not in reference to food. Great post.
    And yes, there was a monster under my bed. It ate my potted plants.

  9. Seanice February 17, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

    @ sleek thank you for the sentiments !! why were there potted plants UNDER your bed- lol! @ Daniel thanks fro the ‘inspiration!’
    @ Pamela and Anita- you touch my heart now it’s smiling!

  10. Sarah February 17, 2011 at 7:49 pm #

    Wow. I don’t even know if I have the balls to be this honest. Nicely done and loved you immediately. I know you know this.

  11. Robert February 17, 2011 at 8:18 pm #

    Successful career indeed. Keep rocking!

  12. Josh Twin February 18, 2011 at 2:18 pm #

    Great post! Indeed you gain strength in the process of “making yourself vulnerable”. You are success despite the things that happened along the way; they made you stronger!

  13. mbabazi February 19, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    this is being intimate with yourself. thats a good point to reach in your life. i recently with a couple of friends wrote a letter to my 32 year old self.(thats me 10 years from now?) the woman i wnt her to be and so many other things.im gonna open it in January 2021 and see how far ive come.
    Im gonna try this kind of introspect into me, thanks for the inspiration.

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