17 Jun

Got this article by “Christian Carter” author of “Catch Him And Keep Him” on a site called pariswoman.com from a friend on face-book and I was wondering IF I agreed with all of it…Parts of it like betting on a mans potential make sense..
what do you think?

10 Mistakes Women Make With Men;

MISTAKE #1: Betting Your Love Life On His “Potential”

Do you know any women who want the man they’re dating to behave differently? Of course you do.
And just like me, I’m sure you have friends who date guys who don’t have much going for them or who don’t treat them very well. Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy’s shortcomings.

What’s going on here? It’s actually very simple.

Women (and men) don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” or “good” someone is to them day-to-day. Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what? Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn’t treat them very well. Sometimes for months or years…

But why in the world would a woman do that!?

Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper “connection”. Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the “wrong” guys.

MISTAKE #2: Assuming You “Get” Men & Their Psychology

Men are different from women. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him. Lots of women don’t even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.

But does the same apply for men?

As you probably already know, men are generally more visual. As a result, they often don’t understand non-verbal communication as well as women. And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and “intuition”. Women don’t seem to remember this about men.

So do men feel sexually attracted to w0men based just on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks. Especially when it comes to longer term relationships. Looks just happen to be the most obvious way…

MISTAKE #3: Pretending To Be Something For A Man
(ooooooh I SOOOOOO Agree with this one!)

In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man’s attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them. Another HORRIBLE idea. Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.
Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want… EVER. Don’t get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all timely.

You don’t have to act like an “easy” woman for men to like you, and you certainly don’t have to play like he’s some gift to the Earth. Doing these things actually works to subtly, at an subconscious level, lower your social status with a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with how he sees you as a woman.

MISTAKE #4: Sharing How You “Feel” Too Early With Him

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they “feel” too early on.

Attractive, single, successful men are rare. They get a LOT of attention from women. Most women don’t realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.
And guess what? Attractive men have usually dated a lot of women.
That’s right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything… It’s a woman who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates. This signals to the man that you’re just like one of those “clingy” stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can’t control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives.

MISTAKE #5: Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves. Most women don’t pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.

The signals men send have 4 main levels:
1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life – stability, confidence, direction

2) Emotional: Whether or not he’s “emotionally available”

3) Physical: If he’s attracted to you… and for what reasons

4) Love State: If he’s open to building and growing a relationship in the future

The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident. That’s great news to women… Men can’t help it! You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.

MISTAKE #6: Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man’s Character

People aren’t easy to figure out. Especially men.

From what I’ve seen, both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things. But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for. Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they’re first getting to know a man. They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they’re open to something more serious.

Men are different.

Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockiness and other “indirect” displays of status. VERY RARELY will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he’s ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.

Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they’re at. If you don’t know how to read through the signals men send, then you’ll get the wrong message. Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around. You can avoid this pain if you learn to identify a good man from a bad one.

MISTAKE #7: Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy

A mistake I’ve seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled. And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Nothing says “Run!” to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.

And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren’t exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there. Think, “controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!”

So let me be clear…
I think it’s important that people help fulfill each other in their lives, whether it’s dating, a relationship, whatever. But if a woman communicates that she’s looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole, and all that kind of stuff – it has a VERY negative effect on what the man will think of her. It doesn’t have to be spoken by the woman either…

If a woman thinks or feels this way, the man will see it and pick up on it, regardless. This is arguably the worst thing a woman can do early on when dating a man.
You can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more “natural” way, where he’ll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfillment on his own. This is the only way it really works for people – male or female. Self-motivation is much stronger than external motivation.

MISTAKE #8: Trying To “Convince” Him To Like You Or Love You

What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like… but he’s just not that interested or isn’t as serious? Right! They try to “convince” the man to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you…

But we all do it. Men are the worst at this by the way. They’re always complimenting women who don’t like them and buying them gifts. Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man. She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn’t change the way she FEELS about him. When a man just isn’t interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches. Bad idea. Another one that will never work.

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman…
And I don’t mean just sex.

I know, it might be hard to believe, but if you’re out on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you. And if you don’t know HOW to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won’t help! If you don’t know what to do in each situation, you’ll probably screw it up…and LOSE EVERYTHING.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all.
This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want. I know, you don’t like to make yourself look weak or helpless. We don’t like to ask for help. But we need to!

Of course I think different situations may call for a different reaction but overall I do think there is a lot of Merit to this guys 10 mistakes article.



  1. AnitaK June 18, 2011 at 10:41 am #

    Well, guess this is a kind of “little red book on relationships”. Whoever said men are from venus women from mars nailed it…that’s just the way it is!!!

    • Seanice June 24, 2011 at 7:38 am #

      haha!! Anita don’t we just know 😉

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