1 Aug

In life we’re all going to experience rejection in varying degrees. Those of us that are bigger risk takers will receive it by the bucketful, and often. From as early as kindergarten where you were picked last for rounders because you were so small, to the day your bank rejected your business plan and happened to be the 6th Bank to do so. The problem with rejection is its inextricable link to our own feeling of self worth.

I think when I have children this will be one of the biggest lessons I teach them; I have experienced rejection so many times that I lost count- or stopped caring to count, who knows! Thing is, much as it doesn’t hurt any less every time- it would appear that it hurts DIFFERENT because I have learnt to absorb it, let the disappointment course through me in all its sharp and haughty indifference, double over, cry and then at the end of it all, crown the pity party with a non alcoholic champagne and a very saltless tasteless calzone at 8 am the next morning. That’s also when I pick up a pen and write about how I feel!

The thing about rejection is that when we know that there may be a link to our own inadequacies, as strange as it may sound- that’s when the healing can begin! So you weren’t picked to be on the rugby team- truth is your frame is inadequate for RUGBY but not inadequate period, also the injuries can be deadly and it’s not really always the smartest kids that end up there, now is it? also having a small frame is better for other things- a modeling career? the world needs astrophysicists too and maybe that is what you need to focus on.

Sometimes we want things so much that we fail to see the wood for the trees! When I first got cheated on I remember all I could think about was how much I wanted the asshole back- to affirm that i was worthy (I know, worthy of a cheating jerk- the irony!) He took his time about that by the way and I’m happy to report that when he wanted me back, I was well on my way to realizing that the life I wanted for myself did not involve 3 screaming babies and a husband who was out screwing the chic who sold him MTN airtime an hour ago!

Every now and again we do fall short – Is that such a bad thing to admit? Sometimes you’re not ready for it! I pitched for a job that would have paid my company roughly 550, 000 US dollars! We breezed through the first round of interviews and made it to the point where it was between us and one of the biggest telecom companies in the country! We lost. I was crushed. Then I went though my process (the self pity I only allow for 5 brief minutes by the way) When I began to break it down I realized that the scope of work would have consumed me at a point when the company still needed to figure so many things out- we were capable but small and the initial resources necessary to begin the job before we got paid would probably have given me a hernia.

Now; is this Consolation as Ugandan’s would put it? No and i’ll tell you why, because I went through the process at this point with my directors and it we gave it a cold objective once over- complete with financials. Of course sometimes you just lose the deal and it sucks- but NEVER lose perspective because when you do- Something or Someone better comes along and you are too busy licking your wounds to notice them!

So – boyfriend chose some one else over you? Didn’t nail that job interview? Landlord would not give you that great house you wanted? A competitor moved in to the great new space you’ve been planning on for the last year? It all comes down to perspective and choosing the right attitude to go with it, Now go shine! xoxo S


8 Responses to “REJECTION”

  1. jny23ug23ug August 1, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    Thanks for the advise. Very intelligent words.
    Very well writ too.

  2. Lindah August 1, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    well written Sean. thanks for that good advice.

  3. Seanice August 2, 2011 at 9:57 am #

    Lindah! anytime 🙂

  4. Mel August 8, 2011 at 3:03 pm #

    Touch a nerve there 🙂 i like to think a man/woman’s rejection is God’s protection, so when rejections comes knocking on your door take it, morn (5 mins top) dust yourself off and keep walking.
    Lovely read Sean.

  5. Marilyn September 13, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    Seanice,you alwys point on and i admire your attitude,i have been your listener from the days of cloud Fm to capital over came all the hurdles coz of the attitude and see where you are today!BTW,you left kenya to go get married and pursue your interes,ok from wht i read…did you ever get married?You are an inspiration to many…xoxo

  6. Rhona Em September 25, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    Hey I needed this, great read.

    • Seanice September 28, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

      lovely to hear from you Em and thanks for reading 🙂

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